Category Archives for "Relationships"

Living With an Alcoholic

Living with an alcoholic can be like living with a deceitful child and it can be very frustrating. If the alcoholic in your home is your spouse, you might be thinking about divorce. If it is your parent, you might be the chosen scapegoat and blamed for everything and are thinking about running away. This is normal. It isn’t anybody’s fault. An alcoholic needs help… not to be abandoned. An alcoholic is very deceitful about his or her drinking. If you ask the person if they are drinking, they will deny it until they are blue in the face. There is no point discussing the drinking and fighting about the drinking unless you and other family members have a plan to get he or she into a detoxification facility.

An alcoholic will never show up at public events and make up lies on why they weren’t there. However, they might be better off not embarrassing you with the public drunkenness and taking the chance in getting another D.U.I. Alcoholics cannot even tell themselves the truth about the fact that they have a problem, don’t expect them to be true to you until they are sober.

An alcoholic will do whatever it takes to get that next drink. They will lie, cheat, and steal until they have another drink. If you don’t go get the booze for them, then they will go get it themselves and risk their life trying to do it.

Living with an alcoholic is frustrating because you have to let them hit the bottom before they can be helped. You and your family might have to force he or she into a facility. Don’t worry about hurting their feelings, you are helping them in the long run. Don’t think that the alcoholic in your home hates you. They might when they are drunk, but they don’t really. They just know that you know they have a problem, but can’t face it themselves.

Being the child of an alcoholic can be difficult especially if you are blamed for everything. Don’t worry. Alcoholics always choose one of the kids to blame for the problems associated with their drinking. It is not really you and they really don’t hate you. It is the alcohol that has taken over their body causing them to be mean and deceitful.

Living with an alcoholic can be made a positive experience when you understand the disease, and seek to get your family member the help they need.


The Damaging Effects Of An Alcoholism Marriage

Alcoholism in a marriage will create an unstable marriage that will result in two unhappy adults. Alcoholism is an unhealthy disease and becomes even more unhealthy when it effects other people.

A person is considered an alcoholic when he or she cannot stop drinking. They rely on drinking to help them cope with their problems and get through the day. Sometimes they have to drink in the morning before they go to work. Sometimes they have to drink during the day to make it through. All alcoholics drink in excess and cannot stop drinking even if they make a promise to.

What Happens in an Alcoholism Marriage?

The tough thing about any disease, including alcohol, is that it effects lots of peoples’ lives. If you’re married to an alcoholic it will have a negative impact on your life as well as your children’s lives. Emotional and physical abuse and lack of sexual satisfaction are all consequences of being married to an alcoholic.

Alcoholic marriages are unstable. This is because the alcoholic is unstable. Constant binge drinking makes a person’s moods unstable. Sometimes they’re happy, sometimes they’re mean and sometimes they’re indifferent to the people around them. It’s very hard to maintain your side of the marriage if the person who’s in it with you can’t control their own moods.

Alcoholics also let alcohol take precedent over everything else in their lives. Instead of coming home from work and hanging out with the family, they may go to a bar. When they get home, they may be extremely drunk and just pass out rather than spending time with their kids or spouse.

This kind of behavior dissolves a marriage quickly. It’s extremely hard to talk to or interact with a person who appears that they don’t care about you or your life. This can have an extremely negative impact on sexual interaction in the marriage as well.

Being married to an alcoholic puts the sober spouse in an awkward position, especially if they have kids. Some spouses will ignore the problem, hoping it will go away. This also puts a division between the couple.

An alcoholic who is confronted may start lying about his or her habit. He or she also may become physically or emotionally abusive to the other spouse. Lying, abuse and lack of communication between the couple can lead to divorce.

What to do if Your Spouse is an Alcoholic

The sad truth is that no matter how hard you try to help your spouse with his or her addiction, they’re not going to change until they’re ready to admit they have a problem. Until that happens, you need to take care of yourself and your family. You do not want to become codependent, which means that you make up excuses for your spouse in order to protect them. Support groups, such as Ala-non, help families of alcoholics learn how not to be codependent on the alcoholic.

If you are being emotionally or physically abused in your alcoholism marriage, you need to physically separate yourself from your spouse. Just because you’re in an alcoholism marriage, doesn’t mean that you deserve to be mistreated.