Living With an Alcoholic

Living with an alcoholic can be like living with a deceitful child and it can be very frustrating. If the alcoholic in your home is your spouse, you might be thinking about divorce. If it is your parent, you might be the chosen scapegoat and blamed for everything and are thinking about running away. This is normal. It isn’t anybody’s fault. An alcoholic needs help… not to be abandoned. An alcoholic is very deceitful about his or her drinking. If you ask the person if they are drinking, they will deny it until they are blue in the face. There is no point discussing the drinking and fighting about the drinking unless you and other family members have a plan to get he or she into a detoxification facility.

An alcoholic will never show up at public events and make up lies on why they weren’t there. However, they might be better off not embarrassing you with the public drunkenness and taking the chance in getting another D.U.I. Alcoholics cannot even tell themselves the truth about the fact that they have a problem, don’t expect them to be true to you until they are sober.

An alcoholic will do whatever it takes to get that next drink. They will lie, cheat, and steal until they have another drink. If you don’t go get the booze for them, then they will go get it themselves and risk their life trying to do it.

Living with an alcoholic is frustrating because you have to let them hit the bottom before they can be helped. You and your family might have to force he or she into a facility. Don’t worry about hurting their feelings, you are helping them in the long run. Don’t think that the alcoholic in your home hates you. They might when they are drunk, but they don’t really. They just know that you know they have a problem, but can’t face it themselves.

Being the child of an alcoholic can be difficult especially if you are blamed for everything. Don’t worry. Alcoholics always choose one of the kids to blame for the problems associated with their drinking. It is not really you and they really don’t hate you. It is the alcohol that has taken over their body causing them to be mean and deceitful.

Living with an alcoholic can be made a positive experience when you understand the disease, and seek to get your family member the help they need.

5 thoughts on “Living With an Alcoholic

  1. tom

    how does a person cope with the ongoing severe verbel abuse and the belittling that slowley chips away at your insanity. i need the tools to make sense of this bizar sitiation being married to a wife that refuses to see this as a problem.

    Reply
  2. Kellie

    I can truly relate to tom. I am to be married to my boyfriend of whom I have been dating now for two and a half years. In this time I have noticed more and more the problems with drinking. We live together now. I had a hard time agreeing to do this, but I now am glad I did. I have seen the habits, been subjest to the abuse, and the lies and fighting. You name it. This coming Sat I am going to my first Al-anon meeting. He too refuses to see the problem and admitt to his anger.

    Reply
  3. Kellie

    Tom, get into a good church and try going to a support group for YOU such as Al-anon. I know it’s hard with those we love. Take care of you and if you have kids they need you too. And pray, pray pray.

    Reply
  4. Christina

    I live with my Alcoholic fiancee. We have been together for three and a half years. I have a little 2 year old girl by him and a five year old son from my ex husband but my son does not know him he only knows my fiancee as his daddy. He has quit three times the longest time that he stopped was 6 months. He always finds an excuse to drink. Its very hard and very soul killing to deal with this and all I think about lately is how to let him go.. My kids are going to hurt from this, but I know it will be better for them if hes not here to teach them how to drink their life away. Its killing my soul and making me a different person. Its not fair to me or to my kids to put them through this any longer, I have given him support, I have never blown up at him for his drinking, but he is selfish and does not spend time with his family anymore, he is just getting worse. We go without while he drinks his last dime away. I’m praying for help, still not sure what to do. I feel hopeless and lost. I used to be happy now I don’t know how to make myself happy anymore. He has been drinking for over twenty years and his dad has put him in rehab two times. He has lost his family do to drinking, he choose to drink then to stay with his ex wife an son and her children. He has lost his drivers lic, he has lost his home, car and still will not change.

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